Your Laser Christmas Light Projector Is Ruining My Christmas Spirit [OPINION]
I am Joe from Chris & Crew, and your laser Christmas light project is ruining my holiday spirit.
I get it... I've probably already alienated 50% of the readers.
So I thank you for reading past that first sentence. Let me preface my views here by saying simply that I LOVE Christmas. I started listening to Christmas music in September and my Christmas tree went up on November 1. It's December 3rd, and I am currently wearing a Christmas sweater.
This opinion article is STRICTLY meant in good fun as a break from the stress of the holiday season. Now having said that...
But I am sorry to say that I do not like your laser Christmas lights projector that is in your yard. They don't even look nice, and it's actually ruining my Christmas spirit.
You TOTALLY know what kind of display I'm talking about because either you have one of those projectors in your lawn right now or your neighbor put one up this past weekend.
What Happened to Traditional Lights?
What happened to the traditional lights? You know where you hang them from your gutters and put lights on the trees in your yard.
By the way, having said that... I get it. Hanging traditional lights can be super labor-intensive, and they're only up for a few weeks. So it kind of feels like a waste of time.
Maybe you started cutting few corners and you're now buying the lights that go on bushes and shrubs in a net. I can get behind that. That is smart decorating. In fact, it's a great use of your time since you don't have to wrap them around every bush in your front lawn
But cutting corners by putting up a laser light as the centerpiece of your display is pretty lazy.
It's OK To Not Have Any Lights At All
I get it if decorating with traditional lights is asking too much. Maybe you're not as young as you used to be, maybe you don't have the time.
It's all valid.
Decorating with traditional lights is labor-intensive.
It can pretty frustrating. We all know that if one light goes out, they all go out. Plus, you're at the mercy of the weather to get onto your roof, and it's cold outside.
If it is asking too much, I think the answer is simple: DON'T decorate this year. That's OK.
If you're not up for the work involved in hanging traditional lights it IS definitely acceptable to pass on it this year. Put an inflatable display in your yard or hang a wreath. There are tons of options to show your spirit that do not involve an ugly laser projector.
Light Projectors Lose The Magic of the Holidays
The art of hanging a strand of lights IS Christmas. Laser displays just spit out red and green. There are dots on your lawn (and anything in the path of the laser). So it just looks like Rudolph threw up on your lawn, and that is NOT artsy, my friend.
There is something magical about the twinkle of light bulbs this time of year, right? What would Clark Griswold say about these sad displays of Christmas spirit? He'd be mortified for your home. Look at what strands of traditional lights can do:
Your House Looks Like It Has A Disease
Why not get a can paint this Christmas and paint your house green and red? A co-worker and I were discussing this yesterday, and he made a great point.
"It just looks like your house got some kind of skin disease," he said.
If that's the case, your house should make it a point to visit a dermatologist this holiday season.
There Are Safety Risks With These Displays
Each holiday season, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) receives reports from pilots who say they've been distracted or temporarily blinded by residential laser-light displays.
Plus, these lights become a hot theft item each year. Since Thanksgiving, I have already seen multiple friends post on Facebook that their laser Christmas lights were stolen right off their front lawn.
Of course, any kind of theft is ridiculous. However, when was the last time somebody stole a strand of lights from your house? Exactly! Using traditional decorations prevents theft. Only the Grinch himself does THAT.
I Know This Isn't a Popular Opinion
I have a feeling that my views will incite some anger from readers. So I mean it all in good fun, I promise. So please take the poll posted below or chat with us on the station app to share your thoughts. Let me know what you think about these lights. I promise I won't judge YOU if you have these lights.
If I haven't alienated you by now, just wait until I share my thoughts on LED lights in a future article.