Today I Was Outsmarted By A Spotted Lanternfly, And I Have The Embarrassing Video To Prove It
Today, I was confounded by a bug!
Not just any bug. The notorious Spotted Lanternfly. More specifically, the beetle.
No doubt you've noticed that they're reappearing this season. What's been made clear to us is that these insects are pests that are damaging to our plants and homes, and that they should be swiftly eradicated on site, especially before they grow into full-sized adults.
This was a task that I had underestimated.
Today as I was leaving work. I noticed the unmistakeable red beetle with black and white spots on the sidewalk on the way to my car.
I cockily decided that I would record my civic duty of eliminating the insect with the bottom of my shoe. I thought my Snapchat followers might get some mild amusement from my small triumph, so I pulled out my phone and hit "record."
What I captured was documentation of my indisputably clumsy and embarrassing failure.
Camera in-hand, I placed my foot above the bug, and stepped down. The bug coolly dodged my death shoe with an easy hop to the North. The shock in my gasp was obvious.
I tried again. Quicker this time. He sidestepped again more to the North, even further this time! My surprised gasps escalate.
What I was not expecting, was the DEXTERITY with which he eluded me!
I became desperate. I'm still recording and the only thing I'm showing my Snapchat followers is how easily I'm being outsmarted by a bug! "I can't kill this thing!" I gasp in my desperation.
I stomped my foot down one more time, and with one more easy hop, the lantern fly disappears into the grass, having effectively and theatrically made a fool out of me. I felt like Elmer Fudd. Safe to say I had a heaping helping of humble pie.
The video I captured should be scored with the "Pirates of the Carribbean" theme. And at the end, as my little red opponent escapes into the grass, the video is punctuated with, "Today is the day you will always remember as the day you almost caught and killed Captain Jack Sparrow."
Touche´, spotted lantern fly.... Touche´.
Here's the video so you can see my embarrassing failure for yourself!