Exhausted College Student Sleeping With Professor Who Won’t Stop Farting in Bed: ‘I Can’t Sleep!’
A stinky situation all around! An 18-year-old college student on Reddit who is sleeping with their 28-year-old university professor can't get any sleep at night because the faculty member won't stop farting in bed.
"The first time I slept with her in was in September. I was just starting out at university and moved to a new province. She lives in the same little apartment complex I live in. When I was moving in she recognized me from the campus tour, offered help and invited me over for supper to be welcoming. I showed up, we ate dinner and talked, we really hit it off, watched a few movies and ended up sleeping with her since 'my bed wasn’t put together yet.' Smooth, right?" the student began.
"I remember laying beside her while she was sleeping thinking I hit the jackpot. She’s kind, pretty, tall ... I was also wondering how she didn’t have boyfriend when all of a sudden a very loud, rumbling fart scares me," he wrote on Reddit.
"So I thought, OK, maybe that’s why, but I don’t really care. I mean, some guys would pay to have a woman like her fart on them, so I was still grateful. But by the morning I wasn’t," he continued.
The student got "basically no sleep" that night — or any night that they've slept together since.
"Every time I was about to fall asleep or just had, a fart erupted ... It’s like that every night I sleep with her ... Her farts are very loud and you feel them, almost like a tuba playing its lowest note. Which is why I think she tries to hide them all day which builds them up and she just lets them rip when she’s alone or involuntarily when sleeping with me," he explained.
The student says their "eye circles are so bad from a lack of sleep that I look like a raccoon."
"I don’t want to completely embarrass her, she’s not shy about farting in front of me, but just the sheer scale of this would probably embarrass anybody enough to ghost me. Also she’s a great woman, we have the same interests, great personality ... So I really don’t want to leave her," he added.
Plus, considering the age difference and the fact that she works at his university, they're trying to keep their relationship a secret, meaning he can't vent about "her gas."
"I just really wanted to get this off my chest ... Also, you fart fetish people better not tell me I’m lucky because I actually can’t sleep when I’m with her," he concluded.
In the comments section, readers tried to offer their advice, with some advising the student to rethink their relationship with the college professor altogether.
"End it. Especially considering this relationship should not be happening at all," one reader advised.
"You damn lucky bro, treasure her," another user joked.
"I dated a girl who thought farting was just funny all the time. I left her... Keep it silent, baby," someone else commented.
"Why don’t you just go home and not stay overnight?" another wrote.
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Gallery Credit: Ryan Reichard