To anyone who is about to get married: please do not take offense.

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Oh and also, CONGRATULATIONS on the upcoming nuptials!

Drew Coffman via Unsplash
Drew Coffman via Unsplash

But I have a question to ask all of New Jersey: Has wedding culture gotten out of hand?

There is a reason I am asking.

My neighbor has a 27-year-old daughter who has been asked to be a brides maid in a huge, Italian-type wedding.

This means bridal shower, bachelor & bachelorette parties, gifts and a banquet hall that will be filled with nearly 250 people.

Jeremy Wong Weddings-Unsplash
Jeremy Wong Weddings-Unsplash

There has been a lot of issues that have come up while planning for all of these occasions...and it all comes down to cost.

"The bride wants to do a full-on bridal shower, then have all the girls go to Mexico for the bachelorette and that is all before the wedding day!" vented my neighbor. "Since when is a bachelorette its own trip!"

She has a point.

The second you ask your bridal party to travel out of state, that is an automatic $1500+ that must be dropped. You have to book the hotel, flights and pay for food and alcohol.

Plus, the cost of the bride or groom is usually expected to be covered by the bridal party.

"When I got married, you and your girlfriends went to a local bar for one final night out as a 'single woman!' Now, there's destination weddings and out-of-state bachelorette parties and my daughter is freaking out about how she can afford it all."

I attended one or two weddings this Summer and the wedding day itself will cost another few hundred bucks easily.

Jen Theodore via Unsplash
Jen Theodore via Unsplash

You have to get your dress, professional hair and make-up if you are in the bridal party and also give the happy couple a chunk of change as a gift.

It's a fun night, but not a cheap one....even with an open bar.

But shouldn't friends and family get to be involved in your special day without being given an anxiety attack when it is time to look at their credit card bill?

Imagine being in your 20's barely making ends meet. Then you are hit with inflation and to top it all off, you are expected to drop another $2500 for someone else's day?


I'm not saying you don't deserve to feel special. But how much is TOO much?

I just don't think people understand how big that number is to people just getting going in their careers....or in general while in this economy for that matter.

Be in love. Get married. Make it special. Enjoy the crap out of your day.

But also be aware of what you are asking.

Yes, it is supposed to be a once-in-a-lifetime memory and for that, it should be special.

First wedding dance with fireworks of wedding couple. Photo with blur and noise

However, I have been involved in weddings where the bride and groom were very aware of what they were asking of their guests with time off work and costs. That awareness goes a long way.

I have also known brides who have needed a good talking to because their expectations were so unrealistic, the maid of honor had to step in.

Just think: if I am asking my guests to spend money on this, would I be okay if roles were reversed?

Just a gentle suggestion because man, is everyone financially hurting these days.

Need a dress for an upcoming occasion? Here you go:

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